Loving you more than air itself
by Lauraloveslotr
Summary: merry alcoholic, pippin. umm, slashy, indicated rape, alcoholism, reconciliation later chapters. R&R please.


**Disclaimer: **do not own nothing of professor tolkiens, just using his characters to create interesting and new scenarios etc.

**Authors Note:** well, lets see, this contains rape - not graphic, lots of kissing, a mean merry and in later chapters, a reconciliation.. ie. merry gets better again, and frodo makes a cameo. not sure, but think this idea might already have been done, so sorry if it looks too familiar, or if it is or was your idea, and i hope you won't hate me. reviews are always welcome. flames not so much, because they make me feel bad. but if you want to flame, feel free. its all part of the game anyway.

enjoy!

Pippin tightly grips the chair beneath him with both hands as Merry plants his hands on Pippin's knees, bringing his face up close.

His breath is full of alcohol and his eyes are glazed. Pippin can feel the back of the chair pushing into his back as he tries to avoid Merry.

"Don't you love me, Pippin?" Merry whispers, his voice slurring the words together. He leans forwards, roughly kissing Pippin on the mouth, biting his lip. He draws away and Pippin can feel the blood trickling down his chin. Tears fill his eyes as he looks at his cousin. He squeezes them shut as Merry leans forward again.

"Don't you love me, Pippin?" Merry asks again and kisses him once more, longer this time, licking up the blood. He draws back once more and Pippin peeks through his lashes.

"Merry" He whispers despairingly, but Merry doesn't hear him as he passes out and slumps forward in Pippin's lap. Pippin jumps, a bit startled. He allows the tears to fall from his eyes and wipes his hand across his mouth, trying to get rid of the alcoholic taste and the metallic sting of the blood. His other hand is stroking Merry's hair working out the tangles.

It is a while before he finds enough courage to move. He slides from under Merry, and then half-lifts, half-drags Merry onto the couch. He wipes up the drool on the side of his mouth and cleans up the kitchen. Hiding the alcohol away in a top cupboard. Then he stumbles off to his room, curls himself into a ball on his bed and wraps the blankets around him, his body shaking as he cries himself to sleep.

It is nearly dawn when Pippin wakes. It is apparent what has wakened him; the crashing noises and slamming sounds coming from the kitchen indicate that Merry is up. Pippin huddles further into his blankets, but it is not long until Merry bursts through the door, eyes blazing, and face red. He rips the blankets off Pippin and grabs him by the shoulders, shaking him roughly.

"Where is it?" He shouts, and Pippin turns his face away.

"Don't turn away from me!" Merry screams, almost hysterical. Pippin keeps his eyes shut as he turns his face back to Merry. He winces as Merry pulls him from the bed and drags him stumbling into the kitchen.

"You've hidden it. Give it to me." He commands.

"You must have drunk it all last night." Pippin stammers, opening his eyes apprehensively and glancing at Merry. Merry bristles, and Pippin can almost see the hairs sticking up on his head. He turns to Pippin, a smile playing around his mouth.

"Don't you love me, Pippin?" He asks sweetly and draws Pippin to him, pressing his body against Pippin's and kissing him strongly on the mouth, one hand behind his head, controlling it's movement, the other arm encircles the slim waist and holds Pippin pushed against him.

It is a long time before he stops kissing Pippin, and when he does, there are tears running down Pippin's face. Merry still holds him close.

"I love you so much, Pippin" Merry says, and his voice drips poison-barbed honey. He forces Pippin's head onto his shoulder as he lowers himself onto a chair, Pippin arranged awkwardly before him. He is still pulled close, Merry's leg is between his, and he hangs loosely, letting himself be like a ragdoll. Tears still stream from his eyes as Merry whispers into his ear.

"Please, dear, tell me where you've hid it. I won't do nothing to you. Nothing much at all. You know I love you so much; I'd never let anything happen to you. I don't want to ever let you go." Merry puts his arm around Pippin's back, letting his head go. He squeezes him tightly against him for a few seconds, then pushes Pippin's head onto his, kissing him long and hard, again and again, working at Pippin's night clothes with his other hand. Pippin closes his eyes and wishes it all away.

"I'll get it." He whispers as Merry rips the nightshirt front open with his teeth, and kisses Pippin's shoulder.

"I'll get you the alcohol. I've remembered where it is." Pippin stammers, pushing himself away from Merry who releases his hold. Pippin shakily climbs the small ladder steps, retrieving the alcohol from its hiding place. He carts it over to Merry, who graciously takes one bottle, working the top off.

"Now then, that wasn't so hard was it?" He says, simultaneously downing the fluid and grabbing hold of Pippin's wrist, pulling him once again into a kiss. Dribbles of alcohol leak from his open mouth and run into Pippins, some rolling down his chin. Pippin struggles, but Merry is too strong, holding him there until he has finished the kiss. Pippin coughs up the detestable liquid, gagging as tears stream from his eyes.

"Merry…" He whispers, "Please." He tries to pull his hand away, but Merry is unrelenting and holds on determinedly, slapping away Pippin's other hand as he tries to pry his grip off.

Defeated, Pippin sinks to the ground at Merry's feet, wrapping his torn garment around his thin body and holding his knees to his chest with his free arm. Above him, Merry continues to drink, even as the sun streams dimly through the drawn curtains.

It is about noon when Merry releases his grip, allowing Pippin to leave. Pippin shoots along the corridor to the bathroom, where he shuts the door, sliding down it as his body is wracked with sobs. He slips into the shower and tries to scrub the dirty feeling from him, tries to rid himself of Merry's groping touch and the roughness of his lips.

Merry stumbles into the bathroom and fixes his gaze on Pippin. Pippin freezes as Merry makes his way towards him. Opening the shower door, Merry steps into the shower recess, shutting it behind him. Pippin is huddled in the corner. The water soaks through Merry's clothes and hair as he advances on Pippin, roughly pulling him upright and slamming him against the wall, causing his head to snap back and connect. Stars explode in Pippin's head as Merry pushes himself up against Pippin, and Pippin allows himself to slip into blissful unconsciousness as Merry has his way with him.

okay, hope not too many people are traumatized. you know what you want to do now. thats right, read it again...or review. either or, i'm happy both ways. lol.


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